Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
