I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
