Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
