id be glad to
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
whose parrot is this?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
