i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
