I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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