Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
