Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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