return my video game
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
