That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
