so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
