it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
