I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
