Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
