it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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