Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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