Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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