And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
