I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
