Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
