I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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