sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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