How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
