his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
