You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
