I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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