So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
