sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The maid of honor just puked.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
