Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
