Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
