Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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