So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
