Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
