Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
