it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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