I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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