Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
