My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
