I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dignity is for republicans.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
