We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
