My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
