i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
