do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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