no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
