You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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