I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
