did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
