Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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