Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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