it hurts more in the daytime
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
