I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
